Love and harmony among siblings are essential for peace in the family. Few matters cause parents more anxiety than quarrels among their children. Yet with the common propensity for sibling rivalry, harmony is not easily kept.
Sibling relations are grounded in parental love. Siblings mirror their parents; hence, when parents set a good example in caring for their children, the siblings can readily follow in caring for one another.
Furthermore, sibling relations are a young person’s first step to relations in the wider world, with friends and peers. In God’s family, all people are brothers and sisters. Therefore, sibling love should extend to love for all people.
Hence, scripture’s words about forgiving and reconciling with one’s “brother” apply not only to siblings in the same family but to brothers and sisters in the family of faith and, ultimately, to all men and women in the world.
Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! It is like the precious oil upon the head, running down upon the beard, upon the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes! It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion! For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life forevermore. Psalm 133
Set things right between your two brothers, and fear God; haply so you will find mercy. Qur’an 49.10
Surely proper behavior towards parents and elder brothers is the trunk of Goodness. Analects 1.2 (Confucianism)
The Book of Songs says, when wives and children and their sires are one, ‘Tis like the harp and lute in unison. When brothers live in concord and at peace, the strain of harmony shall never cease.
The lamp of happy union lights the home, and bright days follow when the children come. Confucius, commenting on the above, remarked, “In such a state of things what more satisfaction can parents have?” Doctrine of the Mean 15.3 (Confucianism)
You have heard that it was said to the men of old, “You shall not kill; and whoever kills shall be liable to judgment.” But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the council, and whoever says, “You fool!” shall be liable to the hell of fire.
So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5.21-24
Teachings of Sun Myung Moon
How should brothers and sisters love each other? What should be their standard of love? They should love each other as their parents love them. Children learn love from their parents.
Children can begin to inherit their parents’ love by relating with their siblings. A boy can love his older sister as he would love his mother; a girl can love her older brother as she would her father.
The eldest son should love his younger brothers as his father loves him, and the eldest daughter should love her younger sisters as her mother loves her. (66:121, April 18, 1973)
Do filial sons and daughters bring their parents presents, saying, “I love you Daddy and Mommy,” while always fighting with their brothers and sisters? No, such children are not filial. Any mother would think that a good son or daughter is one who loves his or her brothers and sisters more than her.
This principle applies not only in the family but in the family of humankind. If we live by this principle, then we can make the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. (95:189, November 13, 1977)
Suppose the president of a nation has a younger brother in his family who is a mere laborer. He should not say to his younger brother, “You are a mere laborer, so you should work for me.”
If he were a true brother, he would be sad that his younger brother’s position was so far beneath his, and he would want to do whatever he could to elevate his brother. Such is brotherly heart and love. (7:38, July 5, 1959)
When you regard your brother’s difficulties as less important than your own, the brotherhood relationship becomes distant. (62:188, September 25, 1972)
In a family, when brothers fight, who do the parents side with? No parent will side with the one who hit first, or who fights for a selfish purpose.
The reason why they do so is that they want their child to grow up to be good. This is consistent with moral education throughout history. (31:235, June 4, 1970)
People who have good relationships with their own siblings will be more likely to get along with their neighbors and friends when they go out into society.
They are also bound to have wholesome relationships with friends of the opposite sex. They will not relate to the opposite sex with sensual or unhealthy feelings, but rather with brotherly or sisterly feelings. (Tongil Segye 194, p. 16)
If in the past you fought with your sisters or brothers, give them a feast to make them happy and apologize for your past behavior. Be reconciled with them and love them again as you love your mother and father. If you do this, how beautiful it would be!
Then, after your parents pass away, your brothers and sisters will help, serve, and love each other with the same regard as they had for their parents. From such a mind and heart, the Kingdom of Heaven starts to become a reality.
You can also see aspects of your mother and father in your aunts and uncles and cousins. Your aunts and uncles display aspects of your father and mother, grandfather and grandmother.
You should regard them as gifts to show God. You should love them with your life. The Kingdom of Heaven is where everyone lives together and loves one another. Everyone! From this point of view, the world is an expanded family.
There are people in the community of the same age as your grandparents, aunts and uncles, parents, and brothers and sisters… In the sight of God, all people in the world are His sons and daughters.
Therefore, we should love all the people of the world as our brothers and sisters. If you see a poor beggar who is about your father’s age, you should care for him as if he were your father.
How beautiful! Is God happy to see His children fighting?
It is the principle of family relationships applied to the whole of humanity, who are the children of God’s family. (184:65-66, November 13, 1988)
Cain and Abel must never be divided. They are like the right hand and the left hand. Everyone should believe that my God is also my brother’s God; that the God who loves me also loves my brother. (3:207, November 1, 1957)
END OF BOOK CHAPTER